how i feel!!!

what is love? who am i? did i really care? ive fallen so low will anyone help get out of this grave ive dug for myself???? where is heaven? why cant we stop time? i wanna fly, is that posiable? do u miss me? am i heartless? why was it him and not me? are my friends truly friends? who are we anyway????????????? again i ask what is love?

2011

2011 oh my word.... a month and im 16 hehehehe!!!! sory havnt written in a long time because stupid gmail wouldnt let me in.... sigh!!!! I got a new man his name is ERIK hehehe his awesome.... makes me smile..... and laugh alot, cause his english is not being that great hehehehe oh and for some reason im into rave and house again.... im not sure it just caught my attention since i went to reeces ... oh yes my parents finally let me go to reeces woop woop!!!!

STOP breathing, STOP careing!!!

Little girl sittingin the dark corner.

With nothing but darkness and dispear.

She longed for somebody to come take her away.

Life nor love would come ear her for the know she shal shane them away.

But she wasnt always like this, u see it was upon the day when the world

stopped breating and careing,that she too stopped breathing nd careing.

She no longer felt emotion like we do, she felt pain...... that was it pain and lonleyness...

Oh watch how she become insane with her lonlyness that creps up behind herand drawns

her in its sarrows.

Shetrys to run as darkness slowly crreps up behind her faster then she can run and then.....

it swallows her hole draining all te life out of her.

She stopped breathing!!!

She stopped careing!!!

For he world to stopped careing and breathing!

Not to be r to be?!?!?!?

He writes nothing about me or our past relationships on his blog yet he writes about other relationships and close friends...... what does that mean? He says i mean the world to him yet it doesnt seem so......

He says that he will TRY be there for me but yet for the other girls his always there for them?!?!?!

Am i old news?

DOes he even care anymore.... he says he does but saying somehing is one thing and following through with it is another!

I guess we live too different lives nw and...... i wish i could say we two different people but we nt we both love the same music, we have a song, we even have the same ideas?!?!!

I dont understand..... he has no idea how much hemeans to be.. a friend?....a lover? i dont care i ust want to know at least that he hinks about meee.....

AGGG its driving me crazy... his driving me crazy!!!!

What do i do? si and wait like i always do? orsay something?

Look what u made me do?!?!?!?

Look what u got me doing listening to stupid love songs! I cant get u out my head....... i dream about u at night and dureing the day i think about u every chance i get!! Id scream ur name off the highest roof top ever but then people would know who u are......... I walked out ur doors along time ago and i left my heart with u! I thought maybe i should go fetch it but then i realized myheart is happy with u and well im happy with it being with u too! U keep it warm, safe and well u give it that fuzzy feeling ive longed to feel again! SO here have my heart..... take it and keep it forever!!!!!

HAHAHA

My best friend is a guy(lol so what!!!!) he rocks even though we dated and it didnt workout TWICE but yet were closer then ever! We have been with each othere through relationships, heartbreaks, being totally insane, even when a close friend died he was there for me, nw with my op and all his here too! Funny thing happened he foned me last nit and we agreed on somethings so he sad FONE HIGH FIVE and i was like wait wat the wat was suppost to be a FONE HIGH FIVE turned out to be a FONE EAR HIG FIVE lol!!!!


well id like to dedicate this to MISHA my bestest friend in the hole wide world!

The coolest song ever!

Im running out of patients coz cant believe what the hell im hearing and speaking of hell it dont compare to this heat that im feeling

I love u too much it shows all my emotions go out of control oh woah woah

Good for u bad for me when i can hardly see from the tears that flow oh woah

cant forget to breath slow count from one to ten with my eyes closed coz ladies take it in and get comp oh oh oh sure before i lose it get comp oh oh oh sure.............

This song is how i feel and is how i take life one step at a time and breathing slow!